There are those parenting moments that I knew happened in theory, but never really expected. The ones that catch me off guard, make me doubt myself as a mother, make me count to ten slowly in my head and sigh deeply. Those moments where things don't go as planned. Where my little one's needs seem to ruin everything, where my own frustrations swell up and make me want to join in on my toddler's tantrum. Those sleep-deprived, emotionally intense moments when I can't help but think this isn't what I signed up for. Life doesn't always look like the cover of a Sears catalogue- family laughing, sun shining, picnic basket overflowing, butterflies fluttering - you know the one. But that's just life. And we go with the flow. I have those days, and I think we all do. My daughter can throw it down with the best of them. But here's the cold, hard truth (or, more accurately, the warm and fuzzy truth): Motherhood rocks. It really, truly does. There are too many "memes" and jokes and stories out there about how hard, exasperating and annoying motherhood is. And I get it, sometimes we feel like we are losing our mind, and we need to talk about these moments.
Please don't misunderstand me, it's not all sunshine and rainbows. Not all. But much of it is. And somehow we mamas so often forget to share the sunshine and rainbows of motherhood. Like early morning snuggles, when my girl gives me a hug and says "hi, maman" and kisses my cheek. Or family dance parties in the kitchen on a Saturday morning, or a Wednesday evening for that matter. Snuggling with books at my girl's request. Or watching her sneak brown sugar crumbs while "helping" me bake. Truthfully, for all those moments that make me sigh and wonder if I'm really cut out for this, there are so many more moments that make me catch my breath and smile, because it's exactly like I thought it would be - wonderful. Fulfilling. Heart-wrenchingly beautiful. Fun, crazy, unpredictable.
I always wanted to be a mom. And I spent a lot of time daydreaming about how amazing it would be. And yes, there are those moments when I feel like I live in a circus (hint: I am sadly not the ring leader in these moments). But more times than not, it's exactly the way I pictured it - but better. More times than not, I can't help but think this is the best moment. Each day holds many of these moments. Here is one from today.
I have always been passionate about art, and it makes my heart so happy to watch this love of creating blossom in my girl as well. Today was the first time I pulled out my easel, paint and canvas for her. She loved it. And watching my little girl reach up on her tippy toes to spread paint on her very first canvas felt just as unbelievably wonderful as I always thought it would.